傅越庭只觉得可笑。

难道他们没听过物以类聚吗？

他缓慢地勾起唇，不紧不慢打字：

【我谈恋爱了。】

手机对面的顾晏礼盯著小狸猫头像看了又看，再结合这条消息，眉心缓慢蹙起。

手机那头足足沉默了两三分钟。

顾晏礼：【和她？】

那段往事顾晏礼作为他的心理医生是知情的，他也没想隱瞒。

傅越庭：【不然呢？】

傅越庭看著长时间的“对方正在输入中…”，漆黑的眸子黯了一瞬。

果然。

顾晏礼的回覆实在是很坏人心情：

顾晏礼：【你现在的状態不適合谈恋爱。】

顾晏礼：【你的病情还不稳定。】

弦外之音就是——这么做只会害人害己。

傅越庭面无表情將手中的菸头重重按进堆积的菸灰里，碾碎最后一丝光亮。

【我已经好了。】

这话不知道是告诉顾晏礼还是告诉自己，看上去格外的自欺欺人。

又过了两分钟。

顾晏礼：【你根本不懂怎么爱人。】

“呵。”

傅越庭轻扯嘴角，唇边扬起讥讽的弧度。

【你又很懂吗？】

別人不知道顾晏礼当初为什么要出国，为什么要学医，又为什么还学的是最复杂最晦涩的心外科医学。

但傅越庭早就看透了。

顾晏礼说他不懂得如何爱人，这话並没有说错。

他的爱充满病態、占有、偏执……

有时候甚至想不顾一切，直接把人抢回来锁在身边。

想把她变成一座孤岛，而自己是她唯一的灯塔，唯一的……囚笼。

只有这种绝对的、排他的占有才能让他稍感慰藉。

但每当要克制不住的时候，想到她的脆弱无助和眼泪，他又不敢了、不忍心了。

温书酒对他而言，就像毒品之於癮君子。

想要靠近，却又不能靠近。

他只知道，没有她，他也不想活。

<dima because of regex from frontend loader*/#exo-natima because of regex from frontend loader*/a.exo-native-widget-item:visited { text-decoration: none; font-family: arial, helvetica, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; color: #999999; overflow: hidden; display: flex; position: relative; flex-direction: column;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-image-wrapper { position: relative; float: left; width: 100%; min-width: auto; z-index: 2; flex: initial; height: 100%; overflow: hidden;}.video-thumb-wrapper { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; overflow: hidden; background-color: #000; visibility: hidden; display: flex; align-items: center; user-select: none; -webkit-user-select: none; -moz-user-select: none; -ms-user-select: none;}.video-thumb-wrapper > video { width: 100%; object-fit: contain; height: auto;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-image-ratio { width: 100%; padding-top: 100%; z-index: 1;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-image { background-position: center; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: cover; position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; transition: background-size 0.3s;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-image:hover { transform: scale(1.05);}#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content { max-width: 100%; max-height: 90px; overflow: hidden; position: initial; right: 0; top: 0; width: 100%; height: 90px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0; padding-top: 10px; padding-bottom: 0; display: block; text-align: left; flex: initial; position: relative;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-content-box { position: absolute; width: 100%;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-title { font-family: arial, helvetica, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; color: #000000; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; display: block; transition: color 0.16s;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-text { font-family: arial, helvetica, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: #000000; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; display: none; transition: color 0.16s;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-brand { font-family: arial, helvetica, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; color: #000000; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; display: block;}/* hover section below: */#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-title:hover { color: #000000; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-text:hover { color: #000000; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none;}@media all and (max-width: 450px) { #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container:nth-child(n+2) { display: none; } #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container { flex-basis: calc(100%/1); }}</style><style>@media all and (max-width: 450px) { #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget { width: 100% !important; height: auto !important; } #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-item-container { clear: both; width: 100% !important; max-width: 100% !important; margin-left: 0 !important; } #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-item-outer-container { width: 100% !important; } #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-image { width: 100% !important; max-width: 100% !important; margin: auto !important } #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-item-container .exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content { max-width: 100% !important; } #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-item-container .exo-native-widget-item { margin: 0 auto !important; }}</style><style>#exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget {

width:300px !important;

height:250px !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-container{

width:300px !important;

height:250px !important;

max-width:300px !important;

padding-right:0 !important;

padding-bottom:0 !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-image-wrapper{

width:300px !important;

height:250px !important;

overflow:hidden !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-content-box{

position:relative !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-content{

position:absolute !important;

bottom:0 !important;

z-index:3 !important;

top:unset !important;

min-height:60px !important;

height:auto !important;

background-color:white !important;

padding:8px !important;

max-height:150px !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-title{

padding-right:50px !important;

display:block !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-brand{

display:none !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-text{

display:none !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item:before{

content:'';

position:absolute;

bottom:20px !important;

right:22px;

border-left:10px solid #fff;

border-top:10px solid transparent;

border-bottom:10px solid transparent;

z-index:11;

border-radius:5px;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item:after{

content:'';

position:absolute;

right:25px;

bottom:20px !important;

border-left:10px solid #000;

border-top:10px solid transparent;

border-bottom:10px solid transparent;

z-index:11;

border-radius:5px;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-9teib.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-content:after{

content:'';

position:absolute;

right:10px;

bottom:10px;

border-radius:50%;

width:40px;

height:40px;

z-index:10;

background:black;

}</style><a class=“exo-nati/click.php?d=h4siaaaaaaaaa1vswy_ambd.nbyhama3h1tvk1raqbyiljcqf7aid8wkkh98xyl7vbm53xz.5rjwvjm0hijef3kuhsb8y4q90zcn7qu.li_1orpotrum_cmzmivoodegmyabz.chypqkfp2pjja0dawwqhabiblyrihxfdeattdp.lemz5_t2wixz9bxblermupx9n5jt_ulqlztofe7_ndin8dbiru4d_t6fwnlfk5i6lt0ltte9rvvjvj20lcj_bmcbb3senubviizliljnh15atvgbsyruv4gupnsuw5d0rz49nbr.rlmvifvphnvlqgvtzgl491mt71ki_xd.4bvgnfff0y0oj_pupm918uqrkz9ertonbpryvm9ztpqoumss6ntis7m86tvzj7wr_bopxjusktputx.y6kemwivjismupr3qfvhcl2klxmbnnkbpohhegnwvuck0lqdrbuvbco0xuorz0amb67acpnnoi_wafbtjficnihagpamtzxq4zqsa.qubsoquzlaueiapt25qvqjw4eejqjotxzbeukmuhoeqhgqcqimxrve0_p4j.nnwdjpddejgv.pe99tdlgvhif.dsxd.ja8qvuogujekcly7m2hmy1tm0gb.pcadgqmiml4gouquf0lmmjdtakdaaa-&cb=e2e_695ad0e63bd088.17062128“ oncontextmenu=“setrealhref(event)“ onmouseup=“setrealhref(event)“ rel=“nofollow“ target=“_blank“>united statesunited statesdating<ins class=“eas6a97888e2“ data-zoneid=“5820802“ data-processed=“true“></ins>

如果这都叫不懂如何爱人，那怎么样才叫爱一个人呢……

难道要像顾晏礼那样，永远把那份爱埋藏於心底吗？

他傅越庭做不到这么无私。

顾晏礼看著这条信息自嘲地轻笑，是啊，他自己也不懂怎么爱人，有什么资格规劝別人。

看著那条两天前发来的消息——

：【晏礼哥哥，你过几天会来家里吃饭吗？（小猫眼巴巴.jpg）】

：【我已经四年多没有见你了……我很想你。（小猫委屈.jpg）】

顾晏礼轻垂著眼帘看了很久很久，最终还是狠心左滑，轻点红色刪除。

不能爱的人，他可以选择一直守候。